God’s Beautiful Design

Posted on August 9, 2011. Filed under: Miscarriage |

2 weeks ago Erik and I had our 4th miscarriage.  It wasn’t confirmed medically but I know my body well enough to know what it was.  When I realized what was happening, I had several reactions.  Finally, I landed on one that I find joy in.  God has a plan for everyone’s life no matter how short or how long.  I know He is preparing a child just for me.  When I do have the opportunity to carry a baby to full term, they will be the child God made and prepared just for us.  They will be the child who God designed to be a part of our family, the one we will get to love, cherish, and raise to know Him and who He is.

I never used to be a fan of the “knit together in your mother’s womb” scripture found in Psalms 139:12-14.  In fact, whenever anyone would read it or include it in a sermon, I would (in my mind) shake my head and say “yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.. I know…”  My eyes would glaze over.. it became just another scripture verse.  However after this last miscarriage it gave me a new perspective.  I was driving home from work today, the scripture came to mind and I had the same response.. “yeah, yeah, yeah…” then I felt like God said to me “but, wait; do you REALLY understand that?”  So, then I thought about it and applied it to what I was going through.  So, to me, (although, I’m sure it’s not the theological version) this scripture takes life when I realize that God has started His knitting project inside of me.  I know that one day God will complete the project, and I will be able to see its completion and it will be a blessing.  For this, I am so grateful!

God has a beautiful design ready and waiting for us.  Whether I recognize it or not.  I am living it.  I just need to be patient, learn from what He brings me through, recognize His hand in my life and keep giving Him the glory for who He is.  I believe that God took His time with me and making me who I am.  He’s going to do the same for my baby.  He has something great planned and I don’t want to miss it.  I’m excited to see what He has in store for us next.  When we do get to that next stage in life, you better believe we will be celebrating like no other.  In fact I think we might just have a party marking each trimester… we’ll see as the story unfolds!

I wanted to share this with you to help encourage you with whatever you may be going through.  God has a plan.  He will never leave you nor forsake you.  He gives us the fruits of the spirit and guides us through every obstacle in life, if we let Him.  I’m thankful for what God has done in and through my life and I count it a joy to be able to serve Him and give Him glory for these things.

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3 Responses to “God’s Beautiful Design”

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Well said, beautiful friend! I have that image from my dream I told you about so vivid in my mind and I’m excited to party with you and welcome the V-baby when he or she comes. I do not understand what God is up to in the lives of my friends who are suffering recurrent loss or persistent infertility. I wish I did. But I know I don’t have to understand, I just have to trust. Thought I’d link you to my blogger friend, Stacey, who had six first-trimester miscarriages and has very similar things to say about it. http://staceysthoughtsoninfertility.blogspot.com/

Nikki… you hold a peace of my heart, you know that, right? I am so sorry for the pain and uncertainty of the story you are in, but thankful for what God is working in you through it.

You are precious in His sight, lovely one. His timing WILL be perfect, and we’ll all be able to see that when it comes to fruition and it will be soooo beautiful!

I love you. Here f you need me!

Nikki, this is beautifully written and you are a shining example of one who radiates with Gods grace and glory. No doubt you and Erik are being used by God as a family and reflect His glory as oaks of righteousness with strong roots in Christ! I love you! Keep running the race to WIN!!!


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